Angry Angry Wesker
by yamiishot
Summary: Oh Steve, you idiot, look what you've done now!


-1

It was a relatively calm day at the New Umbrella offices, nothing too urgent needing done. It was rather relaxing, in Krauser's mind, to not have to go off and kidnap little brats everyday, or beat back thousands of Spanish peasants in one of Wesker's training simulators.

The very little paper work that had to be done was done in moments, and Krauser was free to do as he wished, Wesker had told him so himself. So the big heavy man, who you'd think would chose to work out some more, or go prancing about the place with murder on his mind, had chosen to sit at his desk, drinking cold cola, and watching the sport channel. He'd wanted something different and he'd gotten it, for once.

"Jaaaaaaaack."

Well, it had been relaxing.

"Jaaaaaaaack." The annoying whining voice was followed by a quick jab in his side.

Krauser growled and glanced down at his side. Crouching there beside his chair was Steve, looking a little worse for wear. Krauser frowned. "What is it Burnside? What could you POSSIBLY want from me on my day off?"

"…Protection?"

Krauser sighed and put down the glass, still half full of cola. "What the hell did you do now?"

"Um…I might…maybe…possibly -"

"Out with it already!"

Steve stared down at the floor, twisting his hands into knots. "…I broke Wesker's big computer…"

Now Krauser, he's the big, strong, brave type. He's not generally one to get frightened easily. But then, he's seen Wesker in a rage before. Wesker's anger builds up over time, and when he finally does release it, it's generally messy and dark red in colour. So when Wesker's in a rage, it's always a good idea to hide and hope to whatever god you do or do not believe in, that he doesn't find you. So when Krauser hears straight from the Ginger-Wonder's mouth about the serious damage he's caused, he knows the end results are gonna be bloody.

"Please, tell me you didn't just say that." Krauser mumbled.

"Um…"

"Fuck Burnside, you've really screwed up this time." Krauser covered his eyes with a big hand, wondering how he's going to roped into saving the teen's ass _this_ time. "There's no way Wesker's gonna let you off the hook. You're gonna have to face being dipped in the fryer and getting battered."

"Thanks for the joke, I'll be sure to remember it when I'm in pieces on the floor." Steve muttered darkly. "You've been such a big help."

Krauser took a moment to take in Steve's appearance. The poor kid looked utterly depressed, miserable, and Krauser could swear there were dry tear marks on his cheeks.

He sighed. His tough-guy side was literally yelling at him to ignore the kid and go back to watching the TV, while his consciousness was beating him with a vicious pole axe, demanding he hide the kid from Wesker's wrath. _Hmm, be a good way to piss Wesker off and loss my head, but what the hell._ He thought to himself sarcastically. _Still…Kid needs my help…_

"Guess I'll see you around if I'm still alive Jack." Steve glanced at him one last time, before sighing heavily and turning to crawl off and hide. He was abruptly stopped by the hand on his collar, dragging him back. "JK?" The teen lifted his silver-green eyes to meet Krauser's blue ones.

"I can tell I'm going to regret this…"

"You'll help me?" Steve's face lit up like a child's at Christmas. "Aw man, Thanks. I owe you!"

"When don't you owe me Burnside?" Krauser muttered. "Don't see why you didn't ask Redfield for help." He sat up again, grabbing the cola, determined to finish the last of it.

Steve shrugged. "Might be because him and Wezzy are about as close as two guys can get in one bed."

The cola in Krauser's mouth suddenly found itself being spat across the room, splattering across the TV.

"Ookay, maybe I shouldn't have said that." Steve shrank back.

Once Krauser finished choking on bubbly goodness, he stared at Steve. "You're kidding right? I mean…Wesker hates Chris."

"Evidently not as much as we thought. I guess all the time they've been spending together 'training' did some good." The teen even went so far as to use finger quotes.

Krauser shook his head. "Steve, shut up. I don't want to know anything else. Let's just…get you somewhere to hide; assuming you can shut up long enough to stay hidden."

"I'll try." Steve grinned, "Now show me where to hide."

---

"STEVE BURNSIDE!

Wesker thundered along the hallways, sunglasses missing, black shirt open and flapping as he walked at a swift pace, his trousers only hastily zipped up, the belt still hanging around unbuckled. His face was still slightly flushed, but that was now mostly because of anger rather than any…energetic activities.

"Wesker! Wait! I'm sure he didn't mean it!"

Chris skidded along the floor behind him, crashing into a wall as his socked feet failed to get a purchase on the shiny floor. He was topless and wearing only grey jogging trousers. Pushing himself away from the wall, he hurried after Wesker. "Look, I'm positive he never meant -"

"He never means anything Chris, but he always does something wrong." Wesker hissed irritably.

Chris bit down on his lip, hoping Steve was somewhere Wesker wouldn't think to look.

---

Steve cringed when he heard the eldest BOW roaring his name in anger. Krauser frowned.

"Don't worry." he whispered. "He won't think to look here."

Steve lifted his head to reply and flinched in pain when it came into contact with the underside of the bed. "Ow!" he whimpered, touching the sore spot.

"Shh!" Krauser clamped a hand over the teen's mouth as he heard footsteps approaching the door. It was pushed open, and both BOW's froze as two sets of feet appeared at the doorway, one in socks and the other in smart, black shoes. Black Shoes slammed the door shut, growling lowly.

"Al, calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm!" _So the one with no shoes is Chris, making the one in shoes Wesker. Right. _Krauser let go of Steve's mouth, shooting him a look to ensure he stayed silent.

"No, your not, you're all tense."

The bed's underside lowered as Wesker sat down on the bed, inches away from Krauser's face. A quick glance to the side told Krauser that Steve was trying not to laugh at this.

"I'm not tense, I'm just -"

"Pissed off at Steve for breaking the computer, I get it. The whole facility gets it Al. My burst eardrums got it the second you found out. I think the bloody bed got it."

Krauser's hand snaked over and clamed down once more on Steve's mouth. The ginger BOW had tears of laughter coming out his green and silver eyes. Evidently he found Chris's words amusing.

There was a pause, and Chris's feet disappeared while the bed sank down, and Krauser guessed that he must be sitting on the bed.

"Chris, you don't get it. Everything we had on all the BOW's was on it." Wesker sounded frustrated. _No wonder, Ginger-Wonder kind of messed a lot of things up for him._

"Al…did you ever do a back up?"

"What? Do you honestly think that I would forget to do something so important as a -"

"Your forgot, didn't you?" Chris asked dryly.

"…I didn't forget…I just…"

Hearing pained whimpers, Krauser glanced over as Steve, seeing the teen clutching his stomach as he laughed silently behind his hand.

Fortunately, neither of the two BOW's on the bed seemed to have noticed Steve's noises.

"You just didn't find time, right?"

"Right." Wesker stood and strode to the end of the bed, Krauser watching his footsteps carefully. The ex-scientist paused at the end of the bed, and before Krauser could blink, the bed was lifted from the floor and he and Steve were staring Wesker right in the face.

"…Fuck." Steve whipped Krauser's hand away from his mouth, as he leapt to his feet and ran for the door. "He did it!" he yelled as he ran.

"Al…Can you put the bed down? I'm still on it…" Chris's voice asked.

Krauser sat up slowly, already planning his escape.

"Of course." Wesker smirked and dropped the bed - right on top of Krauser's head.

Chris was rather surprised when Krauser's torso appeared through the middle of his bed. It was even more of a shock to realise he was sitting on top of the guy's head. He slid off and lifted the covers and sheets off him.

"…I'm screwed, right?" Krauser sighed

"Oh, don't you know it." Wesker stepped onto the bed, cracking his knuckles.

_Note to self: Remember to tear Ginger-Wonder limb from limb._

FIN


End file.
